| sappy |
[19 Jun 2009|01:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hopeful |
] |
i am so incredibly lucky to have parents that love and support and guide me through life. they always give me their opinion but i am old enough now to know that they are never judging me. i can't wait to make them proud of me for doing something real and important.
in other news, life is good. i'm trying to enjoy what is possibly my last summer in nashville to its fullest. i'm working freelance for a civic organization, short-term for belmont (it's over in a week) and interning with another person that does freelance PR. i'm also in summer school. and somehow i'm still managing to find time to do new and different things and meet new and different people. (which is my favorite. i wish i had a digital cam to document all of the things-big or small-i'm planning on doing this summer.)
i feel very independent and confident in myself right now. i have decided that i would like to do public affairs (lobbying) for nonprofits or do government affairs (exactly what it sounds like) for a campaign i believe in. and even if my future doesn't work out exactly like i am hoping, i know it will be fulfilling and i will be successful. (determination and a positive attitude work wonders.) i cannot wait to start my internship at mcneely in the fall. i know i will learn and experience alot, and hopefully it will bring bigger things--whether they are here or in LA or somewhere else (hopefully DC). no matter what, i am totally open to the possibility.
one of my favorite sex and the city's just ended (the post-it ep.) on that note, i am going to bed.
love you.
ps. i miss the summer from three years ago. (i think it was three, but maybe two.) i think about it all the time. wish everyone could plan a trip togeths soon. life just isn't the same here. i can't believe i'm saying goodbye to this city without you guys.
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| j/w |
[31 Mar 2009|12:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 uncomfortable |
] |
so when did i revert back to the neurotic, control-freak (okay that never really went away), self-loathing mess that i was in my early teens?
maybe it was when i realized i partied all the time and was way too carefree and was rapidly gaining weight and credit card debt and losing all real personality.
either way, as much as being a complete mess helps me be effective and get everything (well) done, it's really not very good for my mental well-being.
so should i be carefree and a party monster mess? or careful and a control-freak mess?
limboooooooooooo.
also, on a less intense note, should i dye my hair blonde? or (orig) linsday lohan red? or just leave it real dark? i can't decide so plz do it for me!
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| yay me |
[26 Mar 2009|12:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 determined |
] |
it's been 80 hours since my last cigarette. i'm really proud of myself.
the only unfortunate thing is how much i'm eating. gonna gain back that 20 lbs i lost, which is really sad.
so glad amanda found manga a home. that was so sad and stressful last week. can't even count the number of times ld and i wept over it.
school is intense. i feel like i can't ever get ahead. but at least i'm staying right on track.
(this is partially probably because i spent all of last weekend at chelsea marie and matt's laying in bed or on the couch. total scrubs marathon. it was great and so worth it.)
angela, call me. i would love to hang out with you tomorrow or friday. i will try and call you too.
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[15 Feb 2009|03:13pm] |
just laying in bed at my second home in LA. travis is at work for 2 more hours and i'm bored. i should be doing homework, but i already spent 2 hours this morning working (you know, for my internship that i'm not getting paid at).
i'm trying to bring myself to gather up my books and walk the mile and a half to coffee bean, but i've been thinking about doing this since i woke up at 10:30 so the possibility of me actually getting off my ass and doing it now is slim to none.
being out here is so weird. it's like my life in nashville doesn't even exist. and really, i guess it's because i don't have much of a life in nashville anymore. i'm just plugging along. all i do is work, go to school, do school-related things, and go to the gym. occasionally, i'll see my friends, but that's rare. and i mean, i have a life here, too, which is weird. i have friends here and stuff. like, i think we're going to hang out with justyna kelley (i know right?) and her bf and our friend jasson tonight.
i've really been thinking about what i'm going to do in the long run, and i'm almost to the point that i don't think i want to live the high-powered, high-profile life i always thought i would want. i kind of just want to work until trav and i have enough money saved up, and then go live on the beach somewhere. and not come back for a long time. i just want to live simply. i need a skill that could supplement our income, but i think that maybe teaching english somewhere overseas would do us just fine. or selling friendship bracelets or hair wraps or something.
i wish i knew how to find the rest of entourage season 4 on this computer. i fell asleep right before the last ep last night, and even though i've already seen it, i want to watch it again.
also, i really want an english bulldog. i wish they weren't so hard to take care of.
this little weather warning thing keeps popping up on the computer. apparently, LA is supposed to have rain and storms tonight and tomorrow. it makes me lol that this is such a big deal. i mean, i get it that it is bc of mudslides and shit, but i think it's so funny. Rain is to LA what snow is to Nashville.
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| asdfsadf |
[29 Jan 2009|09:36pm] |
went to a belmont convocation tonight (lectures/services/etc. students are required to attend a certain number before they graduate.) anyway, this one left me reeling to the point where i had to e-mail the girl that was in charge. i love my school, but i am so pissed about this. here is what i said:
Dear Krystal:
I am e-mailing you to express my disappointment and discomfort regarding the Go Week Worship ceremony tonight. Although I recognize that it was a worship ceremony providing a faith development convocation, the description for the ceremony as stated on BIC's homepage today was as follows:
"'Heart, Hands and Feet: Stuff You're Gonna Need While Walking Among the Living Dead' Speaker: Kimberly Smith, President, MakeWay Partners"
Nowhere in this description did it mention the overwhelming Southern Baptist influence it would contain. (That Belmont University has supposedly diassociated itself with.) I recognize that Faith Development is an essential part of the young adult's growing process, and I understand why Belmont requires convocation credits under that subject. However, the description of the convocation did not mention the amount of secular Christian influence that it would impart on its attendees, nor did it mention that the people that chose not to fervishly partake in the worship (for whatever reason) would be treated with such disdain by those involved in the service. I counted at least three dirty looks towards my direction when myself and the two girls that attended with me did not stand, sing loudly, and raise our arms to "praise" God. We did not do this to be rebellious or disrepectful, but because we are Catholic and do not feel comfortable worshipping in that manner. I might also add that these dirty look were given by various GO Week ministry staff.
The also description doesn't mention that Kimberly Smith, the key speaker, would make many of the students attending feel so uncomfortable with one of the opening statements of her speech, "If you are here for convocation, you can leave now." Yes, there were students there for convocation. It is, after all, required by Belmont. However, her disdainful attitude towards anyone that was actually there for convocation credit made them too embarrased to leave before she started her sermon. I found it highly inappropriate and slightly offensive, especially since Kimberly chose to speak for much longer than her alloted time, forcing the convocation to run 25 minutes longer than its scheduled ending time of 8:30. Kimberly also failed to mention that her daughter attended Oklahoma Wesleyan University, the school she praised for raising over $20,000 for the refugees. I still think that this is a monumental thing to do for a college campus, but I found the fact she left that detail out to be misleading.
I deeply respect Kimberly's mission and I was originally excited to listen to her speak tonight, but after the way she vocally expressed disdain for any student that wasn't there for her "cause", I feel that she has slightly discredited herself as an open-minded Christian, and forcibly blocked some students from fully getting the development Belmont hopes for in their requirement of convocations like these.
I am also disappointed with Belmont University for not including more variety in their faith development convocations. I am proud to go to Belmont University, and I am also proud of my Christian faith, but I feel that Belmont providing little to no (required) faith development convocations that are outside of the Christian realm slightly discredits their aim to be an open-minded and progessive school.
That aside, I appreciate all your efforts in organizing this event, and I appreciate your time in reading this e-mail.
Thank you,
Sarah Bush
you think that's enough to piss belmont off to the point that they put me on some sort of hit list? or does it make valid points? so scared yall. just want to graduate, but i can't keep my mouth shut.
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| mom is so0o0o progressive these days |
[21 Jan 2009|11:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
amused and annoyed |
] |
this morning i called my mom to tell her my soft cover marketing book (that you can't buy used bc belmont almost always requires the newest editions) was $150, thus bringing the total she's spent on books for me this semester to $650.
her response? "bitchy"
so glad mom is learning abbrevs and slang. it makes our texts/calls much more entertaining.
also, front desk lady at baptist medical group: if a doctor is running an hour late, you should probably tell the the patient when they check in instead of letting them wait 40 minutes, and even then only telling them because they ask. although you may not take your job seriously, other people do and cannot wait that long. thanks for wasting my morning and making me reschedule.
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| truth |
[19 Jan 2009|11:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
i'm really scared about chelsea marie moving away. i don't really have many close girlfriends that i hang out with on even a fairly regular basis anymore. really i don't have any, other than her and lauren. and as much as i say i hate girls, every girl needs a few close girlfriends to hang out with, and, let's face it, as much as i LOVE my guy friends, they are way flakier than girls are. that's one huge bonus about girls; they usually make plans and keep them.
i need to learn how to seek out and find good girl friends (maybe i should be better at keeping the ones i have/had), or just go to borders and buy aloooooot of books. if i spend as much time at the gym as i think i'm going to in the next year, i'll be giving every cosmetically-altered LA girl a run for her money.
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| past few weeks |
[07 Jan 2009|06:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
went to visit the fam for christmas. lexington and michigan. it really wasn't as bad/stressful as i expected, although that might be due to the ativan i took all weekend to calm my nerves. got lots of good gifts. some practical (sheets, socks/underwear, gift cards), some extravagant (ca$hmoniez, diamond necklace, black diamond ring). so sad not be at kwanzaa though. miss u so much, tradition.
two days after i got home, i was off to LA (home) for new years. i had the best time (of course). hung out with friends of travis (all great people and my friends now too), went to vegas for the first time ever (so absurd. we stayed at the palms and were very vegas-drinking, dancing, gambling, staying up way too late, etc), did culture and outdoors things (lacma-LA county museum of art, runyan canon-amazing amazing hiking, jogging in hollywood, eating at various restaurants), spent so much time being gay and in love (seriously i don't really know what to do about it sometimes. i've never been so happy in a relationship. or fulfilled. or comfortable. which i guess is good considering we've been working to get to this point for 2 years).
now i'm back and working towards a new year that i hope will be great. my only real resolution is to be more positive and worry less. other than that, i just want to keep working out daily and doing well in school.
other news:
renee is moving out in a week, which is weird and sad. she's the only roomate i've ever had. my friend ryan tullock is moving in, which is good because i really didn't want a random weirdo living with me. and i like him and he's responsible.
i inherited a cat last week! (h8 cats but love her). chelsea marie is moving to LA with matt in like 3 weeks, and she can't take riley (the cat) because matt's dog oscar will eat her. i love riley and wanted to go to a good home, so i took her.
i start my internship next monday. it's at a music PR company called lotos nile. it's a small firm and everyone is incredibly nice and laid back, but they still work very hard. they also use macs (which blows bc i only know the basics, but i'm excited to learn) kinda nervous tho. i just want to work hard and impress in order get good references and experience for all my future endeavors.
2009 is my last year in nashville. i want to build good memories. i need to, because all i can focus on right now is getting out of nashville, and it's overshadowing all the good things i have here. i'm already calling LA home and forgetting about my home here. i think it's because i'm such a different person now and my life is going in a direction that nashville no longer suits.
i've been going to the Y 5-7 days a week for at least an hour a day. it really is a great stress reliever. every time i walk into the gym, i'm automatically in a better mood. i think i'm also going to try and take up dance again this year (better late than never).
speaking of dance, saw the curious case of benjamin button the other day. it's the first role i've ever though cate blanchett has been attractive in. i liked it, but i think i need to see it again to make a final decision.
that's it. happy new year, ya'll.
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[10 Dec 2008|12:24pm] |
I really wonder why it takes me so long to just accept that people can and will love me unconditionally.
There are more people willing to do this than I will accept, and I have no idea why. For some reason, its so hard for me to let myself let them.
Man sure wish I had taken more than just reg psych, yall. Just want some understanding. Just searching for some meaning.
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[05 Dec 2008|01:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
h8 not having a job so much right now, yall.
its just s00000 lonely. and br0ke.
wish my parents 'understood' me a little better and would just fully support my lifestyle.
wish my friends 'cared' a little more and would quit their jobz and livez to hang with me.
wish the ec0n0my would be 'stable' so there would be more relevant job posts on craigslist.
////just trying to be a better person, yall////
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| womanizer womanizer |
[03 Dec 2008|07:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
grateful |
] |
wtf way to close the workout room for a week, green hills ymca.
i watched the b. spears documentary today. i love her. she's so tragic.
you know, i always ask people how their vacations were, and i genuinely want to know. apparently noone cares about mine, bc they don't ask, and any time i try to talk about anything i did, you can tell they just kind of ignore me.
so i'll just write about it here!
travis has the cutest apartment in west hollywood. but i guess cute is not the word he would want me to use. but it's awesome. very swanky 50's bachelor. with a minibar (LOVE that) and an accessible rooftop that you can sit on and look at the hollywood sign and the helicopters looking for criminals while drinking your minibar drink.
i had so much fun. we did so many things...went to the getty (great art museum in the hills...there's all these outdoor terraces and the view is amazing). went to the observatory at griffith park, which had more amazing views and also we got to see 3 planets and i think that's cool because i never really see them when i look at the sky here...also, it's awesome because it's on a hill and when you look out at the city, there's all this light, but then there's a line in the sky where it just stops and everything is black. light pollution can only go so far, y'all. we went to santa monica to walk on the pier and on the beach and even though it was a little chilly it was awesome. aaaaand i only went shopping one day and i'm so proud of myself for that!!! (and i'll admit i bought a pair of uggs but they're not ugly they're like sweater boots-you know, the kind you can get a spell's? and they have these real cute buttons on the side)
we also ate sooooo much food. the restaurants were all amazing and local and i loved every one, especially this brunch place where i got a baked potato omelet and the couple next to us was SO la and SO rude. they complained about everything, and i don't just mean their meals, i mean everything in life. but the lady had a cute dog that she didn't pay attention to so i played with it while waiting for my food. and yay for in n out burger-i don't care how bad it is for you, i love it. i look forward to it every time i go out west. on the my last night, we went on a date to this little italian restaurant by his house. it was all real italians that worked there, and the food was AMAZING. also, celeb sighting! JONAS BROTHERS OMG. joebro and his disney gf (they're so not just friends) walked in the front door and lawlz, travis recognized them first. their bodyguard was sitting right next to us so no pix to sell to TMZ.
also, spent t-give in a jewish deli/sports bar watching the cowboys game. i know that sounds horrible to most of you, but it was perfect. and i still got to eat turkey and potatoes. we also went to a bar in venice beach with some of travis' la friends and they were all nice and they liked me and that's important so i was happy.
and i guess that's about it.
i love that city. i love everything about it. i love the weather, i love the palm trees, i love the shopping, i love the beach, i love the geological variety (beach, hills, desert, forest, etc), i love (most) of the people-they're really not as bad as everyone makes them out to be; it's like any other city, just choose the right crowd. i also love my boyfriend.
i cannot wait until next december when i am outta here.
now that i'm sure everyone's eyes are glazed over and they've stopped reading, i'm done.
(nay-i keep wanting to type like HRO. i just wrote "luv ya'll miss u", but then realized everyone will probably think that's super annoying)
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[25 Nov 2008|09:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
PALM TREES AND SHOPPING AND BEACHES AND MY BOYFRIEND AND THANKSGIVING DINNER...
WHY ISN'T THIS DAY OVER YET?!
WHY ISN'T IT 6:45 TOMORROW NIGHT?!
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| im so frustrated |
[10 Nov 2008|04:27pm] |
i've been unemployed for four days, and i'm about to have a panic attack.
i need a job. i need a paid internship. i need SOMETHING.
does anyone know of anything?
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[16 Oct 2008|10:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
today is the first day i've worn pajamas to school since freshman year of college. (five years ago.)
it's also the first day this year i didn't bring a sweater and, of course, it's cold and rainy.
;asjklfh;asjklf
i'm in class right now by the way. i'm thinking about leaving in the middle of it. sleeping seems so much more important than learning about how to write newsletters and brochures.
this is pointless. i'm just doing anything i can pass the time.
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| it's down to a lesser of two evils, but... |
[15 Oct 2008|09:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
you know what?
it's not that i don't like obama because i'm a conservative. (i'm not, by any means.)
i don't like him because he's kind of a socialist.
so, if you want to ruin the great foundation of democracy that your country was built on, go ahead. vote for obama.
there. i said it.
in other news, life is good. really good. i have all a's in school, i'm all in love and shit, and chelsea marie and i are scheming and enjoying it.
what sucks is that i'm really poor, but i guess that's what happens while in college in yr 20's.
jayne, i also promise to post a warning to you before i post any dreams.
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| obviously, i'm supposed to be studying. |
[13 Oct 2008|11:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
What type of day are you having?
well, it's almost over, but very busy.
Was there anyone who "made your day"?
noone really "made my day" but it was a happy day.
Are you liking how you look today?
i was until trace cyrus came in to the store and i decided he was a hottie and i felt uncomfortable and wished i had done my hair.
Do you have anyone crushing on you?
um i better.
Have you ever eaten a bug?
yes! i ate a bee! and i'm allergic! but obviously i didn't die.
Are you vegeterian?
BACON OR DEATH
When was the last time you kissed someone?
two hours ago or so
Have you ever had something stuck between your teeth, but no one decided to tell you?
i'm sure i have
Are you a mother or a father?
nope. and hopefully i won't be for awhile.
When was your last paycheck?
today!!!
How many pets do you have?
i just want a puppyyyyyyyyyyyy
What kind of toothpaste do you use?
i'm not sure. renee bought it. i think aquafresh. i could just go look, but that's too much effort.
Are you closer to being rich or poor?
i'm way poor dude.
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
yes. everyone know i sleep with a stuffed dog. his name is franklin.
What was the last gift someone gave you?
hmmm. i dunno.
Do you appreciate that person?
n/a
Are you on any type of drugs?
yep. they're prescribed.
Are you in love?
i can finally openly say yes i am. and i'm very happy
Have you ever been in love?
yes
Do you even believe in love?
of course.
How many things are you really thinking about right now?
sleep.
when is travis going to get back?
i hope the dodgers win (but i don't think they will)
sleep.
studying.
Did you talk to anyone you didn't like today?
my boss. i didn't like her much today.
Do you like picnics?
LOVE THEM.
Have you finished school yet?
god i wish.
What is/was your worst subject?
i sucked at chemistry and geometry. fuck proofs.
What's your father's middle name?
joseph. as in jesus mary and joseph. i like it.
Are you American?
born here so yes.
Who are you voting for?
don't get me started. i'm sick of hearing and talking about it.
Do you like Bush?
nope, but i do feel kind of sorry for him.
What kind of mood are you in?
sleeeeeepy
Are you waiting for anything?
i'm always waiting for something.
Are you going to bed after this?
i wish i could.
Have you ever watched Fahrenheit 9/11?
no.
Where were you september 11 2001?
10th grade. found out about it in english i think.
What book are you currently reading?
the measure of a man-sidney poitier
white noise-don delillo (sp?)
What song did you last listen to?
i can't remember
What movie is in your DVD player?
little shop of horrors.
How many windows are open in your computer?
deux
Are you a very stressed out person?
all the time.
How old is your mom?
45
Has your mom ever been on television or in the paper?
i'm sure she has.
Do you have a beach house?
i will in 10 years i bet.
Where do you live?
west end.
Did you honestly miss Melrose place?
i never really watched it.
Do you ever watch Bold and the beautiful?
nope
Do you sometimes watch the news?
all the time dude.
Have you ever seen a UFO?
i wishhhhh
Do you believe in aliens?
yes!
Do you like Jerry Springer?
nope.
Have you ever been to world trade center?
i never went inside.
What is your favorite magazine?
esquire and vanity fair. nylon is good but i think it's too hip for me.
How many times have you gone to a foreign country?
if mexico and canada count, like 7 or 8 times. if not, twice.
When will you next go on a plane?
hopefully november 20th
When did you last go on a plane?
god i don't even remember. chicago or dc i think.
Do you watch football sundays?
YES
Do you read Perez Hilton?
sometimes. alot less than i used to.
What are your thoughts on Disney Channel?
whatevs.
Do you like Techno?
not like trance techno. but i like dance music crap.
Do you like Dr.Phil?
hes annoying but i'll watch the show.
Do you like Oprah?
def.
Do you ever want to get married?
i was raised for marriage.
What is your favorite country?
i think it will be italy or australia once i go.
Do you like animals?
yes.
Do you like High school musical?
HSM3 love you.
Are the Jonas brothers cute?
whatevs.
Do you have an ipod?
its broken and i'm too lazy to get it fixed.
Do you watch TV alot?
yep.
Are you afraid of the dark?
totally, unless someone else is with me.
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[05 Oct 2008|03:22pm] |
patrick wimberly: way to have an alty dancy band whose song ends up on an ipod commercial.
so ridic.
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| just doing something while watching abc family. |
[02 Sep 2008|11:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
this was dumb |
] |
What bill do you hate paying the most?
every one. credit card probably the most though. it just reminds me of how dumb i am.
Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
hm. i don't even remember.
Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
i don't regret it, but sometimes i do wish i had waited.
If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
nothing. everything that has happened has made me the person i am.
Name of your first grade teacher?
shit i dunno. i remember my kindergarten teacher! mrs. cope!
What do you really want to be doing right now?
i'm doing it. i missed my dumb secret life of an american teenager show tonight, but it's on again!
What did you want to be when you grew up?
i'm still growing. i just want to be successful and happy.
How many colleges did you attend?
mtsu, some college in michigan, hair school, currently at belmont.
Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
i'm not wearing a shirt.
What are your thoughts on gas prices?
meh i'm sick of talking about it.
First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
"ugh fuck 8am classes."
Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"why?"
Do you miss being a child?
sometimes. being a grown up is a double edged sword.
What chore do you despise?
dishes. that's why renee does them.
If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
all the time. that's a rich housewife's hobby duh.
Get up early or sleep in?
sleeeeep
What is your favorite cartoon character?
i dunno. nemo?
Favorite thing to do at night with a guy?
what time at night?
Have you found real love yet?
i think so. i at least know what it is from finding it in the past.
When did you first start feeling old?
when people from high school started getting married.
Favorite lunch meat?
i don't really have a favorite lunch meat.
What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
i don't go there unless i absolutely have to. last time, i got stuff for ld's birthday.
Beach or lake?
beach!!! who would say lake?
Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
absolutely not. just make sure you're sure.
Do you own property?
i will once i graduate.
Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
movies are not something i'm embarassed about.
What's your drink?
diet coke, wine, and so much water.
Cowboys or Indians?
cowboys!
Cops or Robbers?
neither.
Who from high school would you like to run in to?
i can see pretty much everyone from high school.
Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
sopranos!
Grey's Anatomy or 'The Office?
i don't watch grey's anymore, and i only watch the office on reruns.
Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
i've realized that the one thing i regretted from my past relationship is NOT AT ALL my fault. i can't blame myself for other people's mistakes.
Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
katie and heather sit pretty much directly across from me, so yes of course.
What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
i don't know. i don't think about those things alot.
Indoors or Outdoors?
weather dependent.
Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
i don't think i've ever even picked up a fire extinguisher.
Do you have a teddy bear?
yes and i sleep with it every night.
Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
i don't know, but i use mouthwash everywhere. literally.
Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
i've been almost everywhere in california.
Do you go to church?
sometimes.
At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
i don't know. i know that i'll have both eventually.
How old are you?
23.
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| not mundane but not vague and weird either |
[25 Aug 2008|12:18am] |
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mood |
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the older i get, the more i think about all of the things i could have done differently. more wisely. i wish i would have known.
i don't believe in regrets, but it is strange to look back and realize how much time you've wasted.
i'm at a good point in my life; i really am. but i do feel like i'm lagging behind, and i hate that. i've always been ahead of the game in many different ways until the past few years. now i feel like so many people are quickly moving forward, and no matter how hard i try to follow, i'm still stagnant.
i just want to be a grown up. i know everyone says to enjoy school and partying and friends etc etc, but i'm 23. i'm past the point of those things being wholly fulfilling. i want more. i want a real job, and someone to share my life with, and new experiences. i guess i just want to feel like all of my personal growth has paid off.
aaand i've still got so far to go.
but hey, even if i'm not ahead of the game right now, at least i'm thinking ahead! everyone has to start somewhere, i guess.
i know that i'll get there eventually. i just hope that i'll be successful at the things i want to accomplish when i finally do.
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